Monday, February 1, 2010

The Great Beard Explanation

OK SO! A few weeks ago I thought to myself …

-Self: Kris … you look bored with yourself

-Me: I am … hmm … I should maybe grow my hair out … all long and stuff

-Self: ..hmm.. yeah I guess that would look cool … OH! YOU KNOW WHAT?!

-Me: What?


-Me: Like a full beard?!

-Self: … HECK YESS!!!

… I was convinced by myself to embark on the “lumber-jackish” journey of Full-Beardness …

Week One was a breeze. Just like usual … occasional itch on the right side … but nothing bad.

Week Two on the other hand … was as if my beard was made up of FIRE ANTS!! … and their stinger-butt thing was growing out of my face … it itched, and itched, and itched … so I (being the intelligent one) scratched and scratched and scratched HA! … needless to say .. it wasn’t pleasant

Week Three was a little bit of a relief. My beard was a little darker, longer, not as itchy and a bit soft … my wife said “It doesn’t scratch as much when you kiss me …” – this was a good thing. But as the week progressed … it started to poke at the inside of my lips … always … it wasn’t going away

Week Four … this week … the beard … was softer yes … but it just felt odd. Like it didn’t belong. I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror one morning. Anyway, Thursday rolled around and my this time … the beard hair was driving me crazy … in the corner of my mouth like a constant piece of Doritos chip that wouldn’t go away, and spotty … hmm … no bueno. So I decided it was time for a hair cut (not a beard but … just my hair) … as I sat in the chair, watching my hair be formed into a nice little faux hawk … my face … looked as if I was a disheveled drunkard …
That was the deciding moment … the fact I didn’t so much recognize myself, the Doritos’s chip hairs in the corner of my mouth and … AND … the mustache hairs that decided to tickle my lower lip … no good … (plus also … I know my wife LOVES LOVES LOVES my baby face) … SO … it had to go … and go it went (did that make sense)

Anyway to say the least … the beard experiment was fun … for a time … but the benefits of being clean shaved … TOTALLY OUT WEIGH A LUMBERJACK BEARD!!!
Until Next Time

1 comment:

  1. PLUS now you look so much more like your "celebrity look a like" from the show ED. :)